So what is yoga anyway?

I am reviewing the notes that I kept over the past month and I have a number of lines that start with "yoga is..." 

Yoga is mystical hinduism

Yoga is union with the divine

Yoga is the distinction between the real and unreal, the unchanging and the changing

Yoga is divine evolution

Yoga is the goal and the process

Yoga is knowledge (realization) of the truth

Yoga is serve, love, give, purify, meditate, realize

The 'highest yoga' is to bear insult and bear injury

Yoga Chitta Vritti Nirodha : yoga is controlling the thought waves with the mind stuff

Yoga IS NOT just a form of physical exercise : Asana is one step along the path of raja yoga, the path of meditation. Control of the body and breath --> control of the mind --> samadhi (superconsiousness)

((I never made it to the end of my notebook, but if you have any other definitions of what yoga is, please help me with my collection!!

Take home messages

I was so lucky to have 4 days after the course. I got to relax on the beach, go to a couple of interesting workshops of my own choosing, visit Atlantis and Nassau, and practice my spanish in preparation for the next adventure!

I also got to have some nice reflective conversations with other friends from the Teacher Training Course who were still around. I felt like all the knowledge of the course was starting to slip away, so I wrote down my "take home messages" from the month. Not everything we learned is directly relevant to my life right now, although it is all valuable material to have tucked away in a back corner of my brain. My main goal for this TTC was not to become a yoga teacher but to learn some skills that would prepare me to face the inevitable challenges that life brings, and I think I achieved that. I also wanted to be able to meditate FOR REALZZZ but I still don't quite know that would mean. One teacher told me that when he is "meditating"for 30 minutes he is only actually in a meditative state for the last 5 minutes. The rest of the time he is just trying to calm the mind and concentrate. That made me feel better. These points were the ones that resonated with me the most. Some of them are not exactly as we were taught, but I have adapted them. Many thanks to my classmates who contributed to this list.

1. Don't be a slave to your mind (EGO) - practice self discipline

The ego seeks pleasure and avoids pain. It will always look for the easy road, or the most comfortable one, which is probably not the best one for me in the long run. In the TTC we had a lot of imposed discipline but the challenge comes now that we leave the structure of the ashram. I'm not doing so great with it so far, as I sit here drinking my iced coffee in the airport.... Not that I planned on giving up coffee after the ashram, but its crazy how quickly I slipped back into an old habit. I will have to be more mindful of this. I need to work on some strategies to maintain some of the good habits I developed here, and to not let the bad ones come back. The ego doesn't like to be told what to do, and it never sees its own defects. Discipline helps us to observe the ego rather than to identify with it and appease it.

2. Cultivate balance

The keyword in the ashram is sattva. Sattva is one of the 3 gunas or, the qualities of creation. Sattva is purity, peace, tranquility. The other two qualities are rajas and tamas. Realistically I know that many things I enjoy are rajasic or tamasic. But I can definitely say there are times when I have had too much of either. So I think going forward I will continue to enjoy running and dancing (rajas), as well as eating junk food and watching tv (tamas). But I will try to balance them out, and make a concerted effort to bring in more sattva. Nothing in the world is perfectly sattvic, so my keywords are balance and harmony.

3. Don't be attached

I am so attached to things, people, my expectations, my principles. Our ego defines itself through raga dvesha, attraction and repulsion. But these are the cause of suffering. If I don't get (too) attached, I won't suffer (as much).

Another aspect of attachment is attachment to the fruits of actions. This is one of the main theses of the Bhagavad Gita. The Bhagavad Gita tells the story of the warrior Arjuna and his charioteer, Lord Krishna. The Gita explains the 4 paths of yoga: karma, bhakti, raja, and jnana. Arjuna is conflicted because he has to fight this war against his cousins, and he doesn't want to kill them he just wants to run away to the forest and become a sadhu (monk). Krishna tells him that the essence of karma yoga is action without attachment to the fruits of action. This is so contrary to the way our modern capitalist world works. It is strange to think of doing something when you don't stand to benefit from it in some way. Arjuna must fight because it is his duty as warrior, because he is fighting for righteousness. I wish I could say that I know my duty after this month, but I don't. Swami Ridiananda (I still don't know how to spell her name) told me to be open to opportunities to help people, and to always act out of love. 

4. Examine your intentions. Be an observer, but don't judge.

Everything starts with an intention, but I dont often think about what my intentions are. Why did I just buy this coffee? Did I really want it?? I'm not sure. There was a chant that we sang a few times. Swami Sivananda wrote it. One stanza of it goes like this:

I am not this body

I am not this mind

I am not these emotions

These emotions are not mine

Observe yourself and your actions. Observe your interactions with other people. Mindfulness is being able to pinpoint exactly what is going on in each moment. This is really hard. I am going to have to read a little more about mindfulness to be able to practice this. We had a few evening satsang speakers talk about mindfulness, and it is an incredibly powerful practice. 

The judgement part is also hard. If you know me, you will know that I am very judgemental. Of myself and of others. I guess this judgement is ego again. 

5. 95% of our thoughts are about the past or the future. We don't really live in the present.

This was a major AHA moment for me at the beginning of the course. Of course, it makes sense that we mostly think about the past or future because the present is so fleeting and often seems boring or unimportant. But we can do nothing about the past or the future, so why do we waste energy regretting things that have happened in the past and being anxious about things that are yet to occur? 

6. Love selflessly

I am still figuring this one out. We had a lecture about bramacarya one morning. Bramacarya is celibacy. Spiritual aspirants are told to maintain celibacy because sexual energy and spiritual energy come from the same place, and you don't want to deplete your spiritual energy through sex. Ok, fine, but what about romantic love? The lecturer said that romantic love is objectificiation, and we should work on loving the divine in all people. But he has been married twice so I don't really get it. I understand the principle of loving without attachment, but in practice I don't see how this works. A related lesson was to always act out of love. This sort of got burried for me, but my classmate reminded me of it yesterday. Loving is to share and to serve.

7. Consider every experience a learning experience

We learned so much in this month, but I think that was inevitable, given our purpose for being in the ashram. But the swadyaya or self-study must continue. If we are being a non-judgemental observer of our lives we can learn from each experience. This is the point of karma. We may experience the same lesson again and again, and each time it gets harder, until we finally learn it. So its important not only to observe but to learn. Its also important to do things you are afraid of, as this is where we learn the most. 

8. There are no accidents

I thought about my accident a lot this month. Especially in terms of karma. Its some pretty intense karma to have nearly died or wound up paralyzed, and then to recover completely. This lesson goes with #7, there are no accidents, therefore we must learn from our experiences. A good lesson from the accident itself was to slow down, and stop rushing through my life like it is a race from the top of the hill to the bottom. The lesson from the recovery was in realizing the power of single-minded determination and positive thinking. I can do anything if I set my mind, body, and spirit on it.

9. We are all one

I figured I had to include this one, although this was not new. The thesis of Advaita Vedanta, which includes many the scriptures upon which yoga is based, is "Brahman (the divine) is real. The universe is unreal. The individual soul is divine." There is no duality, we are all one, and that oneness is divine. A wave is not separate from the ocean. I don't know how to believe this in practice, but I think it all comes down to love. Love of self and other. Swami Sivananda bowed to everyone, and every creature, because he recognized the divine in them.

10. Change is the only constant 

Everything changes, this is the only thing we can count on for sure in this world.

Om Shanti!

Best and Worst of TTC

A quick summary of my most favorite and least favorite things:

BEST

- evening satsang guest lectures and musical performances
- chanting

- chocolate

- philosophy lectures

- practicing advanced asanas

- homemade yogurt and granola

- early morning walking meditation

- anything on the beach
- thai yoga massages

- mantra initiation

- advanced pranayana

- karma yoga

- getting to know people from around the world

WORST

- lack of sleep (this was supplemented with naps)

- morning lectures (hard to pay attention due to the above)

- emotionally eating bread (bread is the junk food of the ashram. most of us did this)

- kriyas (while they were interesting, my overall experience was unpleasant)

- sitting 8 hours a day

- running from one class to another

- sand in my tent

- internet not working

- karma yoga (at first it was bad, but by the end it was one of the best things)

- not getting to know a lot of people

As you can see, it was the little things that would make it or break it. The good outweighed the bad, in the end.

Advice to new students

The February Teacher Training students arrived yesterday, they have their orientation and initiation today. I have been remembering what it was like when I arrived and thinking of the advice that I wish someone had shared with me before my TTC. Not wanting to scare them, but trying to help them prepare themselves, I have been offering the following tips:

1. Surrender

This was key advice that someone told me when I arrived, and I would pass it on to anyone beginning the training. Even though it sounds intimidating and foreboding. Surrender to what? But it really is a good word. You have to submit to the process and the teachings. The more you resist, the more difficult it is. 'Surrender' also applies to the asanas. Paschimothanasa is the pose of ultimate surrender, the seated forward fold. But Surrender does not mean to give up. Surrendering to the process or to the asana means to relax into it, to go with the flow. It was most challenging to relax into the structure and discipline of the course. To having no control over my day. In a way we also had to surrender to the teachings, and just absorb them rather than analyzing them and critiquing them right away. Sit and relax with them, and they will start to make sense.

2. Prepare to sit a lot, and take steps to make it easier on yourself

If you have read the earliest posts from my time here, you will know that this was the hardest thing for me. Discipline was hard, but it was familiar to me from my time as a competitive figure skater. Sitting 8 hours a day was new. We probably sat on the floor more in this month than we did in all of kindergarten, or ever since. Some things that made it better:

- going early to satsang to make sure I got supportive cushion to sit on

- doing my own hip opening stretches in my "free time"

- getting a massage on my day off
- running to lubricate the joints

And when I was sitting, the key was to move as little as possible. To a certain extent, physical discomfort is in the mind. Your mind is bored of sitting and trying to concentrate, so it looks for easy distractions. The more you give in to your mind and give it attention, the more you move. The more you move, the less focused you are, and you want to move more. Eventually you just want to move the whole time and you get completely focused on the discomfort and you have failed at calming the mind. Agitation begets more agitation.

3. Don't expect to become a wicked strong and flexible yogi

Actually for that matter, don't expect anything. Of course, everyone comes with expectations. For many of us it was "Yay! A month of relaxing on the beach and stretching to become super fit, strong, and tan". One of the first philosophy lectures was on the topic of the barriers a spiritual aspirant must face, and one of them was the barrier of preconceived notions. But about the physical practice. This was a very small part of the course. Because, as we learned, asana is a very small part of yoga. It is just one step in the 8 limbs of Raja yoga. I was pretty disappointed with this lack of exercise, in fact it is likely that I have gotten physically weaker being here rather than stronger. But stronger in the mind I'm sure.

4. Take time for yourself

This was key for me, but maybe not for everyone. I found it challenging to be constantly surrounded by people so I tried to go do my own thing at least once a day. I was lucky, because of my karma yoga I had all 3 breaks in the day. So I would go running, take a nap, sit in my tent and eat chocolate...whatever I really felt that I needed on that day. The course is really challenging, and I needed to get a real break. Sometimes after dinner I would go to the beach in the dark and, with my ipod blasting a dance music playlist from summer 2011, I would run and dance and jump around with complete abandon. I felt very joyful and free and alone. But don't tell anyone ok?

5. Logistical advice

There are a few little things that make ashram life and the TTC easier.

 - Don't go to Starbucks, at least until the end of the course. Even if you are not having caffeine you will become obsessed with going there, and its even more expensive in the Bahamas than in Canada. Some people were going every day by the end of the course. I didn't go until the study day before the exam, but since then I have had to resist the urge to go back.

- Don't wait for the day off to do laundry, and don't bother with the dryer. The laundry room was packed on the day off, and some people spent their whole day there. Better to find time another day, even though you can't wash both uniforms because you will need one to wear that day. Also the dryers don't work very well so its better to just hang your clothes. I used the dryer once when it was raining a lot.

- If you are late to breakfast and there is a huge line, just try to politely grab a bowl and spoon and go to the other part of the buffet where the bread, oatmeal, cereal, and YOGURT is. Eat the yogurt and granola, its delicious. 

- If you plan on keeping a journal, you might have difficulty finding time for it. Bring your notebook to satsang, then if the speaker does not interest you, you can just pretend to be madly writing notes but actually writing your journal instead.

- Don't waste time trying to use the internet after meals. Everyone tries to get on at this time, and the connection is either deteriorated or completely out. You don't have time for this.

So there you have it! My advice for incoming or prospective Sivananda Yoga Teacher Training students.

The exam and graduation

I have been on vacation now for two days... It is really nice. I will post my final thoughts over the next few days, and I leave on wednesday afternoon.

So the last time I posted was Tuesday. I tried to post on thursday but the internet connection here seems to be getting progressively worse. Anyway I have a few days to catch up on.

In our last class with Swami Brahmananda we were told all the questions that were going to be on the exam. And all the answers. It was so strange. But from the start of the course I realized that this was not going to be like university. We have not really been required to think, just to learn and remember. I suppose they expect the real thinking to come after we finish the course. Which I have been intending to do, but... maybe tomorrow.

Anyway, thursday I had to go to Satsang in the morning as usual, then after satsang Ambika offered a yoga nidra deep relaxation workshop again. Yoga nidra is amazing, I really recommend it to anyone who has trouble relaxing or falling asleep. Then I had brunch and went to study with the devil.. aka Starbucks! The starbucks is just down the beach, as I said, and I avoided it the entire month! But caffeine is helpful for studying... and I also think the setting was helpful for me because I studied at starbucks so much in university. I did a bit of group study, which also reminded me of McGill, and it made me miss my friends. I can't wait to be back in school. Well I can wait until september I guess. More adventures to be had in the meantime. I studied for a while, then I went and practiced some more advanced asanas with my teacher Saraswati. I still can't do the crow (kakasana) and my headstand (sirsasana) is ok but only for like 10 seconds then i have to come down. Apparently for the real benefits of headstand you have to do it for 5-15 minutes. Then I had a run and relaxed on the beach. Then I studied with a different group, and had dinner. At that point I told myself I was done and I wasn't going to study any more so after dinner I went and ate chocolate in the Laksmi lounge outside the boutique.

Friday morning we had to go to satsang again, but it was shorter. Then they fed us breakfast, imagine!! Not brunch, but real breakfast! Then we had to go back to the garden platform to write our exam. I was nervous about the sitting, as usual, because they told us the exam was 3 hours long. I was sure I would not be able to stand up after that. Actually, I forgot this story but I will just add it here: After our class on advanced pranayama a few days ago, one girl hadn't realized her foot was asleep and she stood up and sprained it! The hazards of meditation haha. Anyway, the exam itself was totally fine, they had told us exactly what was on it, after all. I finished in under 2 hours, and then I got to have lunch!! Wow, breakfast AND lunch!

After brunch I went and took a nap on the beach, and then I went to Nassau! I couldn't believe it, in 30 days I had not left this little island! I had only left the 4 acres of the ashram once, to get ice cream. Oh and Starbucks, to study. I went a little crazy in Nassau. I had a beer. ONE beer. Then i went and bought more chocolate. I have been eating dark chocolate all the time. It might be a problem. But everyone does it, so dark chocolate seems to be an integral part of the spiritual journey.

We had been instructed not to leave the ashram after the exam, because the teachers were busy grading them, and if they wanted to ask us something about our answers we had to be around. But I was pretty confident that I would pass. And I did!! In the evening satsang we had our graduation ceremony. It was long, but really nice. It was similar to the beginning where we had an initiation. We made an offering with the priest, then we sat with the swamis and got anointed with sacred powders, then we got our diploma and our new "spiritual name" related to the mantra that we were initiated into. After satsang some of us went and sat on the beach. I had wanted to have a celebratory dance party, but we were all too tired. 

Mantra Initiation

At 6 am today we had our mantra initiation. We learned about how mantras work about a week ago in class, and we were told to think about which mantra spoke to us. Most of the mantras as associated with a particular hindu deity, such as Vishnu, Siva, Saraswati, Lakshmi, Ganesha, or Durga.. or a few of their other incarnations. This is the ista-devata, or personal deity.

Being initiated into a mantra requires a teacher or guru to initiate you. You could just pick a mantra on your own, but apparently it has greater meaning and power when you are formally initiated. My textbook says "mantra initation is the spark that ignites the dormant spiritual energy that resides in every human heart. Once lit, the fire is kept going by daily japa meditation." Japa is the science of meditation using the repetition of a mantra. Repetition ignites the power of the mantra.

We spent a few days comtemplating which deity we felt mostly strongly about as our ista-devata (chosen form of god). I was thinking about Rama because I was really interested in the Ramayana when I studied it in high school, but I decided against that one. Partially because I named my dad's dog Rama, but also because Rama is considered the ideal man, and I definitely don't consider myself 'ideal' in any way! I was going to choose a different one for myself. I decided on Durga, the divine mother. Durga is fierce. She rides a tiger and has 8 arms bearing a different weapon in each. She uses her weapons to slay the demons that we all have inside of us. I have also been reflecting on my accident and how its clear to me now that there was some strength coming from outside of myself that helped me to recover. I like thinking that it was a divine power, like Durga. I talked to swami Ridiananda about it, and she thought Durga was a good choice for my ista-devata. This morning we congregated on the bay platform, outside the temple, and we were called in to the temple in groups by the mantra that we chose. There were only two of us who chose the Durga mantra. We learned how to properly pronounce the mantra, we learned a little about Durga, and we were blessed with various powders smeared on our foreheads.

All it all it was a very powerful experience. I think it was the most inner reflection we have been instructed to undertake for this course, so a lot of people were strongly affected by it.

More studying

Only 2 days until the exam! So much to know. Want to learn it with me? I thought so.

The 7 Bhumikas: Stages of Wisdom

This is how yogis measure the progress of the spiritual aspirant. This is the path of jnana yoga.

1. Subecha - longing for truth

This is the preparatory or training phase, before an aspirant actually becomes a jnana yogi. The aspirant has to work on the 4 means to liberation (sadhana chatushtaya) to establish their fitness (adhikara) for jnana yoga:

a) Viveka - discrimination between the permanent vs impermanent, the self vs non-self, the real vs the apparent

b) Vairagya - Proof of viveka. This is dispassion and non-attachment. Practices include dosha drishti (seeing defects in desired objects) and mithya drishti (seeing impermanence of desired objects)

c) Sat Sampat - These are the 6 noble virtues that relate to mind control: Sama (control of desires), Dama (control of the senses), Uparati (renunciation), Titiksha (endurance of suffering due to pairs of opposites), Sraddha (faith in the teacher, teachings, and oneself) and Samadhana (one-pointedness of mind)

2. Vicharana - Right Enquiry

This is the practice after the disciple attains adhikara and is initiated into the path of Jnana Yoga. The guru proclaims Tat Twam Asi, "that thou art". Until self-realization is attained, the disciple practices 3 things:

a) Sravana - listening to the guru

b) Manana - reflecting on the teachings

c) Nididhyasana - deep meditation on the reflections on the teachings

3. Tanumanasana - thinning out the mind

Abandoning the many, meditating on the one.

4. Sattvapati - attainment of sattva

This is the last stage of dual consicousness. This is also when special "powers" manifest to "distract" the jana yogi.

5. Asahmshakti - transcending all powers of creation

6. Padharthabhavani - Brahman is all

7. Turya - indescribable 

This is going to be hard to remember. Actually all these conceptual things with sanskrit names will be hard. 7 of this, 4 of that, 8 of another thing... All this will be tough. 

The 8 Limbs of Raja Yoga

Raja yoga is the royal yoga, or the path of systematic analysis. It is called ashtanga in sanskrit, because ashtanga means 8 limbs. Its doesn't mean that we get to practice the more athletic form of asana that goes by the same name. Oh how I miss the ashtanga vinyasa flow-style yoga. The 8 limbs are:

1) Yamas - restraints

2) Niyamas - observances

3) Asana - postures

4) Pranayama - control of vital energy through breathing

5) Pratyahara - withdrawal of the senses

6) Dharana - concentration

7) Dhynana - meditation

8) Samadhi - super conscious state

Raja yoga is based on the teachings in the yoga sutras of patanjali. Sub-categories of Raja yoga include Hatha Yoga and Kundalini Yoga. All have the same goal: Chitta Vritti Nirodha: Control of the thought waves within the mind stuff.

Hatha Yoga

Hatha Yoga is control of the mind through control of prana. Pranayama breathing exercises are very important. They control and purify prana, or the universal, all-pervading vital force. The 5 major prana vayus are:

1) prana

2) apana

3) samana

4) udana

5) vyana

These prana vayus flow through the energy channels, or nadis. There are 72,000 nadis.  The  3 most important are: sushumna (in the centre), ida (on the left), and pingala (on the right). Hatha yoga is the union of the sun and moon energies of prana and apana. Ha means sun energy and flows through the pingala nadi, and tha is the moon energy and flows through the ida.

Goodnight! More tomorrow!

3 more days of class

I can't believe it. We have only 3 more days! This course has been such a whirlwind. On one hand it feels like I have been here forever, on the other hand it feels like we just started class last week.

I wanted to write about the speaker we had in satsang over the past few days. His name was Joe DIspenza and I guess he is kind of famous, he was in the documentary titled 'What the bleep to we know". His talks were on the subject of changing your mind to change yourself. When he introduced himself he told us about a horrific bicycle accident he had. He was told he had to get steel rods put in his back, and he decided to go against the doctor's advice and didn't get the surgery. Through meditation and targeted positive thinking he managed to heal himself. He now goes around the world running workshops on these sorts of practices and there are lots of people curing themselves from uncurable diseases with their minds. Basically, he said that we are not our bodies, in fact, our body is a reflection of the mind. I could go into more detail but its late so I wont. You can watch his ted x talk here

http://youtu.be/W81CHn4l4AM

Tonight at satsang we had music again. A devotional singer by the name of Shimshai. He sounds like the lead singer from Dispatch, if you know them, if Dispatch sang in Sanscrit. He was amazing. It is incredible the way music can just take over and transport you to another place. Music of any kind. House music, bluegrass, jazz, classical... when you have a perfomer who has entirely captivated the crowd, and you feel like you are all working from the same mind... Thats union. Union with the divine if you want, aka yoga. Bhakti yoga, the yoga of devotion, is the easiest path to god, according to Swami Sivananda. The music tonight was particularly moving because I recognized two of the songs from classes I had taken with one of my teachers back home, so I could sing along. Listening to this song again as i fall asleep

http://youtu.be/ylizMw6iw9s

Goodnight!!!

Last week!

One week from now I will be done with the course! Crazy.

On Thursday (the day off) I decided to go check out a parallel universe.. aka the Atlantis Resort just down the beach. I really wanted ice cream, and a friend told me there was a Ben and Jerry's there, so we went. In order to get there we had to walk through the casino. It was really sad to see people sitting at the slot machines at 3:00 on a beautiful sunny day when they could be outside on the beach! Quite a culture shock for us, coming from the ashram. We walked through the casino and came outside again in the marina with all of the enormous $50 million yachts that are docked there. Walking a little futher we got to a little shopping village. There were a range of expensive shops, tacky tourist shops, and Ben and Jerry's! The ice cream was delicious. I restrained myself from getting a double, so my one scoop did not last long, but I enjoyed it very much. It was expensive enough, $4 for one scoop or $8 for two. I think my taste buds have adjusted to the absence of sugar (and salt, and spices), so it was very, very sweet.

I have to say that I am very proud of myself because there is a Starbucks only about 500m down the beach from the ashram, and I have not had a single coffee. I did go in there once, just to tempt myself, but I left with just a bag of potato chips. Not the healthiest thing, but its not like we are prohibited from eating potato chips.

The pressure of the exam is starting to build. Some people are freaking out about it. I'm not, yet. I only need to pass, I don't need to get an A, so I'm not going to kill myself using any spare moment to study. I do need to learn the sanscrit terms a bit better though. Maybe I will work on that tonight. Right now I am waiting to meet with one of the Ayurveda health practitioners because I have the feeling that my body is starting to break down and I need it to hang in there for 6 more days.

Being a "spiritual aspirant"

A spiritual aspirant is someone who undertakes the spiritual journey. Our Teacher Training Course is loosely modeled after the process of gurukula, where students go to live with a master and learn from him. So we are considered spiritual aspirants, though most of us would not have said that spiritual growth was our goal in signing up for the course. We would have said to become a yoga teacher, become wicked flexible, get super relaxed...etc. Technically, this spiritual process is supposed to take 12 years. We are doing it in a month.

According to our teachers, the spiritual aspirant faces 4 typical challenges as he begins his journey. 

1) preconceived ideas about the spiritual path (sadhana) - expecting it to be something different, getting too caught up in ego. Also preconceived ideas about their progress along the way. The spiritual path should be undertaken with enthusiasm, joy, and an open mind.

Certainly many of us came to the TTC with preconceived ideas. I would say most of us didn't realize how heavy on the spiritual side it would be. And the discipline!! Even though all of the information on the course and the curriculum is available on the website, I think a lot of us chose to believe it was going to be a wonderful month of doing asana and lying on the beach. There was a ton of complaining and resistance at the beginning (as you can see from previous posts!), but now I think we have all adapted more or less.

2) miscellaneous thoughts and ideas of duty - Letting other responsibilities get in the way of sadhana, and making excuses for not doing it. 

This hasn't really been a problem, as we have no time for anything besides the rigorous demands of the course. I suppose some people are guilty of this on the 'rest and study day' and choose not to study, but not me!!

3) opposition from friends and loved ones - your family doesn't support your quest, so you are tempted to abandon it 

I am sure people are experiencing this, but my friends and family have been very supportive, if a little incredulous.

4) the mind is unwilling to follow discipline - being a spiritual aspirant means committing to regular spiritual practice. discipline is the core of spiritual practice.

GUILTY. Discipline is the #1 struggle here. Checking in and out from every class, having your entire day scheduled from 5:30 am until 10:30 pm, always wearing the uniform, sitting cross-legged for 8 hours every day... at first I seriously felt like revolting against this. But now I am used to it. The idea is that the mind gets clearer when you have more structure and less opportunity to do what your mind wants. I definitely feel my mind getting clearer. I don't know if it needs to be as extreme as it is, but maybe it does.

So although we are only here for a month, and I don't know whether many of us consider ourselves spiritual aspirants, I can say that we have definitely experienced these challenges!

Reflections on the headstand

One of the more challenging asanas I have been working on is the headstand or sirsasana. This practice has taught me a couple of important life lessons that I wanted to share. 

1. You have to do all the steps, no skipping.

In Sivananda yoga there is a distinct 8-step process to getting into the headstand. 

First you measure your elbows with your hands, then put them down on the ground in front of you. Extend your hands, clasping your fingers in front forming a tripod. Place the back of your head in your hands, cupping it loosely. Make sure the very top of your head is on the floor. Extend your feet behind you, forming a sort of downward dog angle with your hips in the air. Walk the toes towards your face until your hips are directly over your shoulders. Lift one foot, then the other, bringing your knees to your chest. Extend your knees straight up towards the sky, your feet falling back toward your bum. Extend your feet up into the full position.

The second last step, with knees pointing straight up, is the hardest. If I move through it quickly or try to bypass it, I manage to get my feet up for a few seconds but I am in what my teacher calls a 'jackknife' headstand, and not perfectly straight. And then I can't hold on to it for long. My teacher has challenged me to stay up in the 3/4 headstand (with knees up) for at least 30 seconds before go to the full posture. I will get some pictures posted soon so you get the idea. This is really hard for my ego, because I want to do it so badly, and if I have to hold that position, I will never make it all the way. But it is a good reminder that sometimes even though it's tempting to take shortcuts, it is best to take it one step at a time, building from the ground up. 

2. Work to your edge, but don't go over it

This is a principle of yoga that I have learned from different teachers. In the headstand, you have to get your balance exactly right, using the hips and legs as counter weights. If you don't do this properly, you will fall over. Usually backwards. Which could hurt, but luckily for me I am really good at somersaults. I tend to do this more when I am more tired, so clearly it is not such a good idea to practice headstand tired. In the standard class, headstand is the first asana after the sun salutation series. I guess the originators realized you need all your strength and energy to hold a good headstand.

The life lesson here is to challenge myself, but to know when I am at the edge. Edges are great places to be, they have the most potential for growth. But they cal also be dangerous. So I have been working on getting my self awareness to the point where I can be ok with not pushing myself to far, but pushing just enough. It's that sweet spot that I want to stay in.

3. Be comfortable and sure of yourself, even as your world gets flipped upside down

My teacher pointed something out to me today as I was practicing. In headstand, your actually have more surface area contact with the floor than you do when you are standing on your feet. Also you are not in any crazy positions that require extreme flexibility or strength, you are just standing straight up. The fear factor is a huge barrier in accomplishing the headstand.  That last 3/4 stage is quite a frightening and bizarre sensation. But I held it for a little while, and gradually I adjusted to my new orientation. I also remembered to breathe and try to relax. Then it got easier. I felt lighter, like I was just floating there. 

In life there are sure to be disorienting situations, and the world as I know it may appear to be upside down. I will have to apply what I learned in headstand, to relax and persevere. 

Asanas are so amazing in that they have the ability to train your body, your mind, and your spirit. Swami Sivananda referred to headstand as the king of asanas and said if we are only going to do one posture a day this should be it. The physical and mental benefits are numerous, from increasing the flow of blood to the brain to reducing varicose veins. Apparently the most benefits come from staying in it for 10 to 15 minutes. I cannot imagine that. Maybe one day. I will just have to go one step at a time. 

Super intense cleaning

Today we had our kriya workshop. Kriyas are yogic cleansing exercises. Yogis are obsessed with cultivating sattva or purity. This includes their environment, their food, and their bodies inside and out. So today we learned about purifying the inside part.

I tried to approach the workshop with an open mind but knowing that it is not medically necessary to clean the internal orifices of our bodies, and could potential be damaging. But the yogis have done this for thousands of years. I understand how from a psychological perspective, having everything clean and pure is a logical step towards cleansing and purifying the mind, and preparing it for meditation. So as you are reading this, try to keep that in mind, and be prepared for some not-so-pleasant images...

The first exercise we did was called Trataka or steady gazing. We were instructed to stare at the flame of a candle without blinking for one minute, then closing our eyes for a minute and visualizing the flame, then repeating two more times. As you practice, you are supposed to be able to hold your gaze longer without blinking. Your eyeballs' natural response to drying out is to tear up. So even in our one minute we were all starting to cry. This is the cleansing of the eyeballs/tear ducts. They say the benefits include improved concentration and strengthening of the eyes.

The second exercise was Jala Neti. You might be familiar with the neti pot, it has become quite a mainstream practice. Basically you use this purpose-made mini teapot to pour saline water into one nostril as you lean over and tilt your head to the side. The water begins to run out the other nostril. This is supposedly beneficial for cleansing the nasal passages and the sinuses and prevent colds and infections.

Suta Neti was the third exercise. We threaded a rubber cathether up one nostril and pulled it out of our mouths. It has the same benefits as the neti pot. Which means I am never doing this again.

The third exercise was Kapalabhati. People who practice yoga will be familiar with this breathing exercise. If involves rapid, forceful exhalations, and the inhalation becomes passive. This eliminates carbon dioxide from the lungs and stimulates the organs in the stomach.

Nauli was the fourth exercise. This involved exhaling strongly and sucking in your abdomen, and then you churn it around like you are making your stomach dance. I wasn't able to do this, but it looks really crazy when its done properly, see this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHtNn0jKk0w

The fifth exercise was Kunjar Kriya. For this exercise we rapidly chugged 8 to 10 cups of warm salt water and proceeded to vomit. If you didn't vomit automatically, you were encourages to trigger your gag reflux by sticking your fingers down your throat. I was a little disturbed by this, but I decided to try it, and it was quite traumatic. Of course i got a head rush and tingling all over my body, but I get that when I am sick for real and its not a good feeling. I am concerned about them teaching this exercise to predominantly young women, because young women tend to have so many issues with food. I don't think they should be telling us that we are "cleansing" ourselves by vomiting.

One exercise that I did not do was called Vastra Dhauti. This involved swallowing a long piece of gauze and then slowly pulling it back out of your throat. Apparently this is good for gastritis, dyspepsia, diseases of the stomach, and disorders of phlegm and bile.

A final exercise that we were simply told about was Basti or colon cleansing. This is what it sounds like... It supposedly cures urinary and digestive disorders.

All of us were quite altered by this practice. Imagine 40 people throwing up in the bushes at the same time. It had quite an effect on the rest of my day, in different ways. I was exhausted so I had a nap. Then I felt really gtood. But I am thinking that was more from the nap than the vomiting. Then at various moments I have felt like crying. All in all, just another roller coaster day of Sivananda Yoga Teacher Training.

Day in the life

I have been at the ashram for two weeks. I feel like I have been here for two months! Here is the play-by-play of how the day goes...

5:30 wake up bell goes

I think I am sleeping rather lightly because I wake up immediately when the first bell goes. Or maybe I am just well rested...nah doubt it. For a few days I was worried about missing the bell, even thought that would be nearly impossible. They ring 3 different bells around the ashram, each of them about 4 or 5 'clangs', and then someone blows a conch shell. Regardless I woke up several times in the night thinking that I had overslept. I have now set my alarm as well. I had the best sleep last night.

5:50 be at the garden platform to do roll call for satsang

I have to take attendance for 1/2 of my class upon their arrival at satsang, so I am prepared with my headlamp so that I can see the list, because otherwise it is usually too dark.

6:00-7:45 satsang

Morning satsang is usually on the main garden platform, but occasionally we do a walking meditation on the beach. We did that today. It was really lovely. When we congregate down at the beach the sky is still dark, and the moon is just setting over the horizon (full moon tonight!). Then we walk east towards the Atlantis hotel complex. Walking meditation is much easier for me than seated meditation, because when you walk you get to focus on the action of walking. It is also much easier on my sore joints. I am still in a lot of pain from sitting cross-legged all the time. A new development on the pain front is that my mid-back has decided it just will not support me any more.
When we do a regular satsang, it begins with a half hour of silent meditation, followed by 20 minutes of chanting, and then 45 minutes of a speaker or a reading from one of Swami Sivananda's 200+ books. They call it meditation, but as I am learning in my philosophy class, what we are doing is not actually meditation. We are instructed to sit up straight (like a HUGE mountain), close our eyes, and follow our breath. Then they tell us to choose a focal point, either the space between the eyebrows or the heart centre, and focus our attention there. Then we are to repeat the mantra OM in our heads with every inhale and exhale. I know this sounds like enough different tasks that you should be able to keep your focus for at least a little while, but its really, really hard. My mind doesnt like concentrating. It prefers to wander. And my body likes to move. And my ears like to pick up on the sounds coming from the 200 people around me. So, I have to work to do if I want to be a pro meditator by the end of the month. Next we chant, usually the same set of mantras repeated 3 times each. I am a terrible singer, but I think I might actually be getting better. Chanting is not really singing though I guess, since we are always repeating the same rhythm and melody. By the time the chanting ends I am very fidgety and really just waiting to get out of there, so I haven't had much luck with listening to the morning speaker. Because of this I decided that morning satsang the opportune time to write some reflections, so I get my journal out and jot a few things down as they come to mind, even though I'm not supposed to do this.

8:00-10:00 asana class (yoga postures)

Next we have the asana class. I can't really call it yoga because everything we are doing in this course is yoga! We started out with the main series of 12 Sivananda postures. The Sivananda series is mostly about working the spine and the muscles in the back. So there is no warrior series or standing balance poses. The idea is that the asanas prepare you for meditation. They allow you to focus your mind on the posture, to focus your energy flows (prana), and to strengthen your back so you can sit for longer periods of meditation practice! 

This week we have done a number of variations on the main series, particularly in shoulderstand (sirsasana) and plow (halasana). I can't quite do a proper headstand yet, but I am getting there! I am also making progress with crow and peacock, which are pretty impressive arm balancing postures. Not sure if I will be able to do them by the time I leave.

10:00 brunch

This is my favourite time of day! I am all nicely stretched out, I'm relaxed and feeling good, and I get to eat!!

I have a strategy for brunch. For my karma yoga job, I have to sign out everyone upon leaving the class. This seems unnecessary to me, but I guess we do this because in the past people would skip out early. Anyway because of this I am the last to leave, and by the time I arrive at brunch the buffet line is incredibly long. So I just grab a bowl and spoon and head directly for the yogurt and granola. It is really, really good. The kitchen staff make both of them from scratch. If you know me, you know I love dairy. Particularly cheese. Dairy products are few and far between here, but yogurt is a daily feature. So I am very happy when I am eating my yogurt, sitting in the sun on the beachside yoga platform. By the time I finish my yogurt the line has died down, and I go back for real food.

11:00-12:00 free time

If it is a nice day, I gather my homework and head to the beach. I try not to do too much for homework. We are required to write summaries of our main lectures every day, plus the occasional morning lecture or teaching class. But I figure that we are not graded on them, so I might as well write as little as necessary. The teachers have encouraged us to be concise, because they have to read all of them. I like being concise. Though you wouldn't know it from this posting. After I do my homework I try to nap and swim in the beautiful caribbean sea. This also might be the best time of the day. 

12:00 - 1:00 morning lecture

The morning lecture is in the temple with Swami Ridiananda. She teaches us about meditation, mantra, chanting, and the Bhagavad Gita. We are not reading the entire Bhagavad Gita, she is going to read us the key passages. We are only on chapter three, but I think it is fascinating. She is a great story teller. I am also enjoying the chanting, to my surprise. We haven't learnt too much about mantra yet, but we will soon. Apparently we will have the opportunity to be "initiated" into a mantra. We can then use this mantra in our meditation, rather than reciting 'OM'. We will also be given a "spiritual name" to accompany it.

1:00-2:00 free time/asana practice

I often go to the asana practice session in order to work on some of the tougher postures and to get some help from the teachers. After this I might shower or write emails, or talk to somebody.

2:00-4:00 main lecture: Yoga Philosophy

I have mixed feelings about these classes. On one hand, they are fascinating. On the other, they deal with  very "high level" topics, so sometimes I am just not in the right headspace. Our teacher, Swami Bramananda, is usually very engaging, but there just isn't enough time for questions or discussion. So we just listen. Because the topics are complicated, he often repeats himself several times, but in different words. Sometimes this helps, but other times no. I need some way of digesting the information. Maybe I will blog about it during my free time tomorrow. That will be a good way of studying I think. Yeah, I have to study. There is a final exam!

4:00-6:00: Asana teaching class

I think this is what most of the people in my class thought they had signed up for. Not all the philosophy or karma yoga or sitting 8 hours a day! In this class we learn how to teach a Sivananda yoga class. I have been taking Sivananda classes in Hamilton for a few months now, so it is familiar to me, but for a lot of people who have done mostly the ashtanga/vinyasa style, it is quite different. We get to practice teaching our classmates. We had to lead the the sun salutation for the whole class! I just imagined my teacher and the commands she would give, and I did ok. A lot of people had a hard time with it. There are many people doing this course in their second language. I am really impressed by them.

6:00 dinner

By dinner time I am starving again! Another buffet style vegetarian meal awaits us as we emerge from our last class of the day tired and ready to eat.

7:00-8:00 free time

In this time I try to find people to interact with. Its so strange to be surrounded by so many people all day but not really interacting with anyone for most of it. I often spend this time writing emails or using skype, if the connection is string enough. I might also do laundry, or if I need some alone time I will go walk on the beach. 

8:00-10:00 evening satsang

This is the same format as morning satsang. Half hour of meditation (or concentration for most of us), 20 minutes of chanting, and a lecture or performance by invited guests. The guests have been great. First we had the neuroscience and world religion symposium, and now we are doing a festival of devotional music from many different traditions. It is really fun to have music, and all of them have done a form of call and response, so we get to sing along.

10:30 bed time

Depending on how lively the evening satsang was (like tonight, a sufi musician), I typically get to sleep around 11.

Then it starts all over again!!

Learnings from philosophy class

Rest and study day. Only one more week until the exam so I am going to put in some solid study time. And I am going to use this blog to help me study, especially the philosophy. So continue reading at your own peril...

The Five Points of Yoga

We have been given a couple of different sets of things to remember. This set is specific to the physical practice of yoga. If we go on the teach yoga, we have been instructed to emphasize these to our students. Yoga is a system of self-discipline based on simple living and high thinking. The body is the vehicle of the soul, and like an automobile, it has certain requirements. We have been practicing these this month, and hopefully we have created good habits that will continue back in the real world!

1) proper exercise (asana) - the lubricating system of the car

2) proper breathing (pranayama) - the battery

3) proper relaxation (savasana) - the cooling system

4) proper diet - the fuel

5) positive thinking and meditation (vedanta and dhyana) - the responsible driver

Brahman = Atman

I remember learning this in world religions class at Westtown. This means that Brahman (the infinite, eternal, supreme reality) is the same as Atman (absolute consciousness of the individual). They are one.  So we (our true self) is god, and god is ourself.

Sounds simple, right? But there are a few things that get in the way of us knowing this truth. Absolute consciousness is veiled by the upadhis, or limiting adjuncts. These are simply (or not so simply) the body and the mind. Jiva is the individual soul, it is atman that identifies with the body and mind. Another thing is maya or the illusion, the creative power of Brahman. Everything in this world is maya, it is not real. Brahman plus maya is Isvara, or Brahman with attributes. Isvara is further subdivided into the hindu trinity of Brahma (the creator), Vishnu (the preserver), and Siva (the destroyer). To make things complicated, all of these have many incarnations and therefore many names. But the basic idea here is that "the names are many but god is one". And we are part of that same "oneness", because there is no "other". The meaning of 'yoga' is UNION. 

The 3 Gunas

Maya, or creation, is made up of 3 essential qualities. They are present in varying degrees in everything, from the gross (physical) to the subtle (the mind, emotions, energies). These are the 3 gunas, which i will describe further because we have learned about them a lot:

Sattva

Sattva in the mind is purity and knowledge. Sattva in the universe is information, knowledge, and preservation.

Rajas

Rajas in the mind is desires, ego, restlessness and attachment. Rajas in the universe is energy, change, and action.

Tamas

Tamas in the mind is dullness and lethargy. Tamas in the universe is matter and solidity. It is the veiling quality that makes us think that what we know is reality.

Yogis try to cultivate sattva in all things. Sattvic food, sattvic environments, sattvic personal care. Doing this makes sattva in the mind grow.

The Four Paths of Yoga

If you haven't noticed, or if you are new to my blog, I have been doing a lot more than stretching this month. Yoga, or "union with the divine" is pursued through four paths:

Karma Yoga 
The yoga of action, of selfless service. The karma yogi dedicates himself to serving the god who is present in all living things, without attachment to the 'fruits' or the outcomes of action. This sounds easy enough, but really it is not. I think about the volunteering that I have done. I typically do it because I like the organization and the work it does, or because I feel good after. Apparently this is good, but not good enough.

Bhakti Yoga 
The yoga of devotion, the approach of pure love. Supposedly the easiest form of yoga or path to god, but I am not sure. The bhakti yogi channels all emotions into devotion to and love of god in a personalized form. Forms of devotion include chanting, japa (repeating a mantra), and pujas (ceremonies and rituals). We are going to have the opportunity to be "initiated" into a mantra, which is associated with a particular deity who we feel strongly about (the ista-devata). I am thinking about it, but I could use some guidance.

Raja Yoga 
The scientific, systematic approach. First you control the body and breath, andthen the mind. There are 8 steps, which i will go into later if I feel like it. I have to know them for the exam.

Jnana Yoga 
The intellectual approach. Through study of scripture and philosophy, the jnani learns viveka or discrimination between the real and unreal, and vairagya or dispassion and unattachment. But the intellect can only take you so far. Then you must discard it and simply KNOW. This one is the most abstract. I don't quite get it.

Ok brunch time, this is enough for now. more studies later. 

Karma and synchronicity

Karma is an accepted fact of life here, even though not everyone comes from a spiritual tradition that espouses karma. It is central to the yogic understanding of the world. I have always liked the idea of karma, that for every action there is a reaction, but it was challenging to accept when I first got here. I was caught in the analytical frame of mind, and thinking about the scientific criteria for determining causation. Needless to say, this frame of mind was not working too well for me. The yoga philosophy that we are being taught has been passed along from teacher to student for thousands of years. I find it hard to believe that the teachings haven't gotten manipulated in some way. Remember that telephone game we played as kids? I would think it might work something like that, the message gets pretty mixed up as it is passed along the chain. But we are told that as the philosophy and teachings of yoga are passed down, they are not modified or changed, even as time changes, because the wisdom is eternal. Hmmm. Karma is an appealing idea but tough to wrap my mind around, especially when i think about it from a reductionist scientific point of view. You can't prove karma, particularly because, as we have been taught, the karma that we experience is most often a result of actions in previous lifetimes, not this one.

I had this cool feeling of synchronicity with the most recent speaker series, on the topic of neuroscience and religion, given that in a way I am here because of my brain injury, and they were talking about the brain!

I suppose its not really that much of a synchronicity, since the brain has been a really popular topic in the news lately. One thing that was a source of hope for my parents after my accident (and for me when I was aware of it) was that recent work that has shown the plasticity of the brain, or how you can teach an old brain new tricks. Every time you do something new, you create new connections in the brain. One of the scientists discussed the effects that spiritual practices can have. He said that the practice of meditation creates a lot of new neurological connections. I was busy building neurons after my accident with brain games and physical exercise, but I never practiced meditation or any mindfulness exercises  beyond yoga. So while I had been thinking of this yoga course as a form of brain rehab in a more abstract sense, now I know I am here literally building my brain!

One speaker was a philosopher who specializes in Advaita Vendanta, which is an ancient collection  of hindu texts from (I think) about 3000 BC. He made this interesting connection between the parietal lobe of the brain and the ancient sanscrit words for "self" and "other". The parietal lobe is the part of the brain responsible for our sense of embodied self and other (as in, I am here and you are there). In neuroscience, this is called "grasping". The sanscrit words for "self" and "other" in the Advaita Vedanta litterally mean "the grasper" and "the grasped". I think this was a bit of a stretch of the definition of association, but it was an interesting story nonetheless.

The two neuroscientists talked about the challenges of studying religion and the brain when there are not a lot of well defined terms. First of all, science takes the brain and the mind to be the same thing. Religious philosophies like yoga take them to be different. Second, neurological models are correlative, meaning that a person does X activity, and you see Y appear on the MRI scan. But phenomena like consciousness have no visible manifestation. Spiritual experiences result in a confluence of brain states that do not fit with any models. Apparently, even what scientists used to think they know appears to not be true. For example, we used to think that activities are localized in certain parts of the brain for certain functions. Actually, any behaviour affects the whole brain. Second, a meta analysis of MRI scans of the 'resting but awake' mode show that the mind is in fact always active, even in deep sleep and, to a certain extent, a coma. The mind is constantly cycling. So this is scientific evidence of the 'monkey mind'!! Imagine that! Overall, they highlighted the inadequacy of current methodologies, and even vocabulary, to study and describe these 

Another speaker told us about how psychologists have borrowed meditation and mindfulness techniques from yoga and buddhism, secularizing them and removing their deeper philosophical and spiritual significance, and they are still extremely effective therapies. I recognized a lot of the scientific namespace the therapies from the many systematic review titles I read over in my work for health evidence. The speaker told us that these studies are reducing these practices to parts that make up the whole, and they are likely missing something much deeper. The science is not explaining the experience, but explaining it away. 

The conclusion of the symposium was that scientists are in need of new methodologies for answering questions about religion and the brain, but also that science and spirituality need not be considered antagonistic, indeed they are complementary. 

This post turned into more of a review. Unfortunately I mainly just copied out some notes that I had taken, because I haven't really had the time to think about this more, even though I wanted to. I actually wrote this overt the course of 3 days, and as I am finishing it now I realize I forget most of it. In my next post I will write more about the workings of the ashram and how I am adjusting to the program. Good night!

First day off!

We get one full day off a week, and today is that day! even though it has not been a full week yet, I am still so grateful. I am getting used to the schedule, but I just feel like i need time to absorb everything!

But what an amazing day off it was. I got to nap, go to the beach, do laundry, talk to my mom, and I got a massage. I think the massage was the real game changer. I have felt nearly euphoric ever since. A lot of people who saw me after remarked that I looked brighter. Oh what a good massage can do. 

I am hoping to carry this feeling into tomorrow. Tomorrow we begin reading the Bhagavad Gita. It's interesting to feel so immersed in Hinduism, when most of the people present are not Hindu. This morning we participated in a puja (devotional ceremony) to Ganesha. Ganesha is the elephant-headed god, and in the puja we called upon him to remove any obstacles that we will face. In India, elephants have been used in clearing the jungle and in wars to trample down the enemy's settlement. I guess that is the connection. We did some chanting, and then we all got in a line to make an offering and burn incense. I felt a bit uncomfortable, not knowing exactly what was supposed to happen and what I was meant to do. I don't think I bowed enough. Oh well. Swami Saroopananda explained it after we were finished. It would have been nice to get the meaning before. It kind of felt like pretending. 

The way the Hindu deities have been explained to us, each god that we call upon in our chants is an avatar of one true god (Brahman). But you call upon the different deities or manifestations of god depending on the situation. Swami Sivananda said that all religions are the same at their essence. There is one true god, one ultimate supreme reality, but we can worship him/her/it in all its names and forms. There are symbols of different religious traditions all around the ashram. So gradually I have accepted that I am not here to be converted to Hinduism, but there are a lot of things to be learned from Yogic philosophy (which I am not even sure is the same as Hinduism). So I can participate in the Ganesha puja not because I believe in Ganesha as a god, but because I am asking a higher power for some support in clearing the crazy jungle of my mind so that I can truly benefit from the TTC experience. 

First day of teacher training

The Yoga Teacher Training course has officially begun. We had our orientation yesterday and then a formal initiation ceremony, in front of the whole ashram at satsang. The ceremony involved making an offering of a flower with the priest, and then getting blessed with some coloured powders by the swami. It was a lengthy ordeal. 2 and a half hours of sitting cross legged on the floor and chanting. But it was really a cool experience to be a part of. I took one picture, but I am having difficulty posting photos directly to the blog so you can see it in the photostream.

There are 55 people in my class. Mostly women ages 25-35, with about 10 men. This morning, we had to stand up in front of the whole ashram at satsang and introduce ourselves. We had to say where we were from, what we did, and why we have come to the ashram. I had such a good thing to say. But then I got up there in front of 250 strangers and I freaked out. I was going to talk about my accident and how I sort of see this teacher training program as a last step in my rehabilitation, in order to work on the emotional and psychological side of things, which I really haven't done much of. I want to learn some practical skills for dealing with the emotional challenges of life. But I panicked, so I just said that yoga helped me after my accident and now I want to learn "more". 

We received our uniforms. Mom, I will match your house. Our uniform includes a yellow tshirt and white pants. Yellow represents knowledge and white represents purity. We have two sets, and we have to wear them for satsang and lecture, but not for yoga asana class or free time. Or karma yoga!

Part of the program is to do an hour of service to the ashram each day. This is called karma yoga. My karma yoga is to take the roll call for half of the students in my class at the beginning (and end) of every class, satsang, or lecture. It is a little bit stressful, but its also nice to say hello to 25 people 12 times a day. With a bit of reflection, I can understand why it was my karma to get this job. Crowds and busy situations make me anxious, and I don't like people being mad at me. So it will definitely be good practice.

Today we had our first experience of the schedule that I mentioned. It was rather hectic and exhausting. Its definitely not going to be a chill month of lying on the beach and doing yoga. I didnt even go to the beach today! We had two yoga asana classes (the physical practice of yoga), and two lectures. One of the lectures was on meditation, and the other was about the 4 phases of life that people go through, or at least the ones people went through in India 3000 years ago. They are not really applicable to modern life, but the take home message was that we will not do the same thing our whole life, our lives will change, and change is inevitable. Wow look at that, I just did my homework! For our philosophy class we have to write a 1-page summary of the day's lecture. We will occasionally do that for our other lectures as well.

This course is a lot more sitting than I thought. That is the worst thing so far. I am fine with waking up at 5:30, I am fine with two meals a day. But right now my knees are screaming at me because we sit cross legged for 7-8 hours of the day. I wish I had some powerful painkillers. But that wouldnt be very yogic of me. Maybe there is a black market for that sort of thing... Just kidding.

I hope it doesn't sound like I am whining. But thats how it is with everyone right now, we are all whining. The majority of the class is struggling. With the scheduling, with the discipline, with the lack of food and sleep, the sitting... but I know we will get used to it. One of the first things  they told us in the orientation was that we had to just surrender to the process. So I am making a resolution now to all of the world wide web. I will not whine any more. It is distracting me from really listening and absorbing all the great things that I came here for.

Paradise Island

Actually, thats the name of this island, I'm not just saying that!!

I have been in the ashram for 2 days now. It is a beautiful green jungle garden with several wooden platforms, small buildings, and tents scattered throughout. The island Paradise Island is located just across a bay from Nassau, on the larger island of New Providence. The ashram has some glamorous neighbours including the gargantuan Atlantis Resort and Nicolas Cage. 

The ashram is very full, Rumor has it the total population is 250. My course has 55 students, most of whom are here already. Lots of people to meet! New friends!! 

The teacher training course starts tomorrow, so I have been taking it easy thus far. From all reports, it will be very intense. Even though it hasn't started yet, I am still attending morning and evening satsangs. Satsang is a gathering of the whole ashram. We meditate for half an hour, chant mantras for half an hour, and then listen to a guest speaker or one of the swamis speak about yogic scripture, philosophy, or other related subjects. I think they are meant to speak for an hour, but it is often more. It is pretty hard to sit cross-legged on the floor for all that time and stay focused, but I am sure it will get better. I think I will sing more in the coming month than i have or will in the rest of my life. Maybe I will actually become a half decent singer. Top 40 here I come. Haha if sanscrit chanting made the top 40. 

The lacto-vegetarian food is delicious. They don't really use spices or onions or garlic (or salt) so its all quite bland, but my taste buds will adjust. I have gone to two yoga (asana) classes so far, just the open classes. They follow a different style of practice here, so it is an adjustment. When the course starts I will be doing 4 hours of yoga (asana) a day. Here they are quite emphatic that the physical practice of yoga is a tiny part of the yogic life, so the Teacher Training course will of course involve asana but also so much more. I am a little nervous, but everyone I have spoken with says that the course is really amazing and also really challenging.

It is a little rainy right now, which is why I am on the computer instead of at the beach!! I was a tad worried about my tent, but I think it will be ok. I put a tarp on top of it for the rain. I have been sleeping really well because of all the fresh air, I think. My skinny thermarest is more comfortable than I would have expected!

Click the link to my photostream on the right side menu to see pictures. The ipad app for blogger is not great.